This is why

they tell you to expect the unexpected. But I’ve never understood that advice. If you expect the unexpected, you’re causing the unexpected to become expected… so either you “expect the expected” or it just cancels out entirely. So, “expect nothing” makes more sense.

What I mean is, my boss got back to me about the leave of absence. I am currently faced with a scenerio that I did not anticipate; I blame naïveté.

Sounds like, if I were to leave for an extended period of time (such as 6 months), I would have to resign from my position as they would not be able to hold it for me. When I come back, I’d be able to reapply.

Again, for whatever reason, this option never crossed my mind. I kept thinking “leave of absence”, not “quit and have to figure it out again when I come back.”

It’s a bit discouraging, I’ll admit; but it’s not going to stop me going.

Also, turns out we don’t have a London office. That, I knew, had a slim chance.

This whole thing seems to be timed so stupidly, I can recognize that. I haven’t been here a year yet, but in the time I’ve been here, I’ve become the main person for specific files, I’ve built relationships, etc. Thinking about these things tends to make me feel bad about going.

Then I remember I’ll be following my dreams, making my dreams a reality. I have the supreme fortune to be able to do this and I feel so strongly about doing it, and soon, that if I don’t go now, I will be a bit of a shell. It’ll be that missed opportunity that I feel forever.

I know it’s just a trip, just a long holiday, but I have never wanted anything this badly.

UPDATE:

My boss just came in and asked if I got his email – he’s so sweet. He said that they love me and love my work, so when I come back, they’d figure something out for me. Suddenly, I feel 100 times better.

And, of course, as I’m starting to tear up from my boss’s sweetness, a coworker walks in. They must never… see me cry… (sniffle).

This is why I love where I work.

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