I started at my current job. It doesn’t seem like that long and yet at the same time, I feel I’ve been there forever – in the best possible way. 

I only wish I was still Facebook friends with my old boss so that he could see my status about how happy I am since I quit his department/that place.

It’s like that asshole ex-boyfriend that you want to run into simply to flaunt your newly-hot bod and equally hot new boyfriend. Oh, hi, I’m sorry, what was your name again? That’s right. I’m too busy having a wonderful life and going places, unlike when I was stuck with you. Don’t you just think that was the best decision I could have made? I mean, really. Oh, I’m sorry, how are you? Ah! Gosh, look at the time, gotta run. Hey, as I’m walking away, make sure to focus on my perfect ass and that of my perfect boyfriend! (tosses hair)