I’ve been home from London since September 10th and done with my master’s degree since September 16th. I took some time to get my shit together – as in reorganize and de-clutter my apartment. Then I started looking for jobs online.

The last time I job-hunted was about two years ago. I was dying to get out of my job at the time and made it my second job to scour Careerlink.com. I started out looking for jobs to do with my psych degree: something at the Department of Health and Human Services, something at a local counseling center, etc. Then I thought, well, I have training in customer service, so I’ll look for customer service/receptionist/administrative jobs AT those places.

After being denied for absolutely everything, I started applying for any and all administrative jobs. I applied to be a receptionist, a secretary, a mailroom clerk, only to be turned down with an email. According to the (likely automated) email, I didn’t meet the minimum requirements for literally everything for which I applied.

Oh, so being in customer service for six years doesn’t meet the minimum requirements to be in customer service? Being a receptionist for three years doesn’t meet the minimum requirements for being a receptionist? Having a brain for twenty three years doesn’t meet the minimum requirements for being a mailroom clerk?

I applied for one more position – an escrow officer at a real estate company – on a total whim before I started looking at GoArmy.com. At this point, I was down to part-time work at my job and knew I would have to move into my dad’s basement in about a month if I couldn’t find anything.

Amazingly, the awesome people at NP Dodge must have liked something they saw in my resumé and further saw potential in me during my interview, because I was hired as an escrow officer within a couple days.

Seventy five applications later, I had a job.

I’m so glad none of those admin jobs worked out. I would have hated it and really, those jobs didn’t meet my minimum requirements.

When I started looking for jobs in October, I chose some companies: BBC America, Time Warner, AMC, Fox, Twitter, Discovery, ABC, NBC, Dreamworks, Sony, Apple, etc, and checked them every day. I think I’ve applied for at least forty jobs since October – all in New York or Los Angeles. After more thought, I have essentially stayed away from LA and really only apply in New York. I’ve always loved the idea of New York thanks to Sex and the City – getting up every day and taking the subway, grabbing a coffee at this Starbucks every day – just that city routine. I loved that in London – taking the tube, stopping by the neighborhood Starbucks, walking the busy streets. I feel that New York would be the closest thing to London. For now, anyway.

I have that strong feeling again. Before I went to London, I had such a strong feeling about being there and how it would be when I was there. I was not disappointed in the least. Like I said, I’ve got it again. This time with New York. I can see myself there. I can see my apartment, I can see the streets, I can see my office, I can see everything.

Just need the job now.

That’s where I tend to get discouraged. It feels like I haven’t been job-hunting for long at all, but then I look back and realize it’s been just over three months. (Of course, spelled out, that sounds like nothing). My apartment lease is up in May. If I don’t find anything in New York by March or so, I’m going to have to find something here. If I have to do that, I want to get a house.

There are so many if,thens and they’re stressful to think about. I really only have two months left before I have to start looking here (the hopefully-easier-job-market to penetrate this time), and then at that time, I’ll have to find a house and start the escrow process so that it times well with the end of my lease.

I just had to stop and put my hands to my face.

Okay.

I mean, I know I can always rent my apartment month-to-month – whether I find something here or find something in New York and have to delay moving one way or another. Six of one, half-dozen of the other. It’s just the job thing… I hate temporary things.

People have told me that I “should just get a job here because it’ll look better if I’m currently employed;” and I “should just get a job here to get some experience and keep applying for others while I work.” While I can see the logic of the first, well, and the second, suggestion, I don’t like either of them. Currently, I’m a co-owner of a film production company with a couple friends, so technically, I am ’employed.’ That mostly solves the first should. As for the second, I am a long-term kind of person. I’ve had three jobs since I’ve been 16; so, three jobs in nine years. The thought of going through the rigamarole of the hiring process, getting acclimated, learning my responsibilities, and being trained for a job I’ll have for fewer than six months (hopefully) just makes me shake my head. At that point, I’d be torn between keeping the job that I’ve invested in and packing up and leaving for a job in New York. Which sounds utterly ridiculous after everything I’ve just said.

Also, if I have to ‘settle’ and get a job here, I can’t help but feeling that it’ll be just that – settling. As much as I adore Omaha and could easily live here for the rest of my life, now that I’ve got this desire and drive to be somewhere else, it’ll just never measure up. New York isn’t London, but Omaha isn’t New York.

I’m getting a bit restless and I’m always impatient. People (lovingly) telling me what I should do makes me feel rushed. Yesterday, I was on the verge of a mini-freak out when I found this a graphic that said, “Don’t rush and never settle. If it’s meant to be, it will be.” That was a perfectly-timed find, along with another graphic that said, “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway. – Earl Nightingale”

I was completely meant to find both of those things when I did. I need to take a breath and try not to rush things, as well as not resigning to settle. I don’t want to settle for Omaha and I don’t want to settle for a not-quite-perfect job in Omaha. About the only thing I will settle for is a not-quite-perfect job in New York: as long as it’s at the company I want and there is room to move up, as far as I’m concerned, that’s a gold star.

I am also glad I was reminded not to give up on my dream to find a perfect job in New York. And the time is going to pass whether I keep working for it or not, so I might as well keep working for it. I just have to keep trying.

Getting a perfect job in New York could mean so many steps toward getting back to England someday. That alone is enough encouragement to not rush and not settle.

My only ‘resolution’ this year is to spend next New Year’s Eve in Times Square – which will only have been a subway ride away from my apartment.